i'm bored. and tired. my ipod needs to be charged and i don't have my charger with me.

i got the new blonde redhead cd. it's great, go buy it.

i want a tattoo -a scorpion on my lower back- and a strange piercing somewhere. i have to think of someplace clever to get it. eyebrow? lip? nose? any suggestions?

i keep trying to get emotional about the fact that i am (unofficially) a senior in high school. this is my last year of being chained down by prep school and overprotective parents. this will be the last year i see the vast majority of my friends. this is the year that i am going to change things. this is supposed to be the best year of my life. i am trying to force the anxiety, the excitement, whatever i'm supposed to feel when i consider my age. but i just can't do it. maybe on the first day of school when i find myself in the senior hallways with my oversized locker and mailbox, it'll mean something to me. maybe i'll feel tall.

i'm so excited for tuesday. i'll finally be able to see my paulie. but i think there is another reason why i'm excited, but i'm not sure what it is. i already have the outfit that i'm going to wear all picked out. callbacks for the fall play catch-22 are in the afternoon, hopefully it won't be at an inconvenient time for me. that still doesn't explain the excitement. maybe it's because this summer is going to be one of the most rewarding and interesting...ever. i am going to be in a short independent film (i don't know what part i am playing yet, i think i'll know by next week or so), i am going to brown univeristy for a three week course (philosophy through film), and i plan on being a lot more independent and active. i am always such a hermit over the summer. i may take classes, but then i rarely go out to see my friends or see movies or anything like that. i just don't think about it, i suppose. it's not like they actually invite me to anything, anyway. but i don't feel like being bitter about that at the moment. i have life to look forward to. and love, hopefully.

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