it feels so nice to have paul back, really. it feels like he never left when we are talking to each other in that way that we do that most other people don't understand. he looks exactly the same, wears the same clothing, and speaks in the same way. i'm glad that he's here. it's really refreshing to have someone like him around, right when the year is ending and you're trying your hardest not to lose it around your other peers. so cheers to you paulie, i know you'll be reading this eventually.

i went to graduation today. i have no serious emotional attachment to any of the people graduating, but it felt nice to see them one last time, like a sense of closure. i hugged three or four of them and then went along my way, most likely never to see them again or at least any time soon. i imagined myself this time next year, sitting in moody church listening to others speak about how glorious and prodigious my class is. i imagined feeling heartbroken and scared and ready to move on to the next level. i didn't really listen to any of the speeches, someone said something about israel and quoted a communist and one speech was too long and the appluase got old after a while, but it helped me (only little, though, mind you) to feel like i was finally being lead to something important, where i am supposed to be a leader.

if that makes any sense at all.

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