i was looking up at the moon this evening and this odd feeling swept over me. it was a waning crescent, and the sun was still out, so it made the sky this beautiful soft blue. i just kept staring at the moon and i wondered how in the hell could anything that we do or say on earth matter when there is all of space out there constantly contracting and expanding, where the petty troubles of our world are completely irrelevant. we are so small and insignificant...it was depressing when i lowered my eyes back down to the dirty streets of chicago, the red lights of the cars in front of me, the grimy gleam of the train that rumbled by. i wanted to be locked again in that moment when i first looked in the sky. i wanted to feel small again, like the beauty of the sky was going to swallow me whole, like i was out of traffic and part of infinity, like i could touch the moon if i wished hard enough, like i was beyond.

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